Reading time: 8 min
Every year, the searches tell a story. Not the curated version of parenting that appears in books and advice columns, but the real one, typed at midnight, during a feed, in the school car park, with two minutes before the next thing starts. The questions parents search most are the ones they do not feel comfortable asking out loud. Which is exactly why they are worth answering.
Here are some of the questions that came up most in 2025, and what the research actually has to say about them.
"Is this normal?"
This is less a question than a category. It covers an enormous amount of ground: sleep patterns, tantrums, eating habits, developmental milestones, social behaviour, fears, and the thousand things children do that seem to come out of nowhere.
The honest answer to most "is this normal?" searches is: it depends on the age, and the range of what is developmentally typical is much wider than most parenting content implies. The research on child development consistently shows that children reach milestones within windows, not at fixed points. A child who is not walking at 12 months may well walk at 15 or 16 months without cause for concern. A child who is not talking at 18 months warrants attention. A child who bites at two and a half is doing something developmentally common, not something that predicts lifelong aggression.
The problem with the "is this normal?" search is that the results tend toward the extremes — either reassuring you completely when a professional eye might be useful, or alarming you about something entirely ordinary. If you are in genuine doubt about a developmental milestone, a conversation with a health visitor or paediatrician is always the right call. If you are searching at midnight because your toddler did something strange that day, the answer is almost certainly yes.
"How do I get my toddler to sleep?"
Sleep was one of the most-searched parenting topics in 2025, and has been for years. The searches cluster around night waking, sleep refusal, early rising, and the particular despair of a child who previously slept well and has, for no apparent reason, stopped.
The research on toddler sleep is fairly clear on the basics. Children aged one to two need between eleven and fourteen hours in a twenty-four hour period, including naps. Children aged three to five need ten to thirteen hours. Beyond that, the research on specific sleep approaches is more contested than most sleep training advocates imply. What the evidence does support is the importance of consistent bedtime routines, the significant impact of screen use in the hour before bed on melatonin and sleep onset, and the reality that sleep regressions at developmentally significant points — around 18 months, around age two, around age three — are well-documented and typically temporary.
What the evidence does not support is any single method as definitively superior for all children and families. The best approach is the one you can implement consistently, that is appropriate for your child's age, and that your family can sustain.
"Why does my child have so many tantrums?"
Tantrums peak between ages one and three, with most children showing the highest frequency between 18 months and two and a half years. This is not a failure of discipline. It is a consequence of a developmental gap: children at this stage have more emotional experience than they have language to express it, and more desires than they have capacity to regulate.
The research distinguishes between two types of tantrum: the distress tantrum, driven by frustration, hunger, tiredness, or overwhelm, and the instrumental tantrum, which is about getting something specific. They respond to different things. Distress tantrums are best met with co-regulation — staying calm, staying close, not trying to reason during the peak — and resolve faster when a child feels safe rather than escalated. Instrumental tantrums tend to persist longer when they are rewarded, even intermittently.
Research has also found associations between screen use and tantrum frequency. A 2021 study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that toddlers whose parents used screens to manage emotional distress showed patterns consistent with reduced development of self-regulation over time (Coyne et al., 2021). The mechanism appears to be interruption: when a screen substitutes for the harder work of learning to tolerate and move through a difficult feeling, the child gets fewer opportunities to build that capacity.
Research finding
A 2021 study found that toddlers whose parents used screens to manage emotional distress showed patterns consistent with reduced self-regulation development over time — suggesting that screens may interrupt the very process children need to build emotional capacity.
Coyne et al. (2021). Computers in Human Behavior, 120, 106762.
None of this makes tantrums easy to live through. But it does make them more legible.
"Is my child anxious, or just shy?"
This question comes up more than almost any other in the developmental searches, and the distinction matters. Shyness is a temperament trait — a tendency toward caution in new social situations — and it is normal. It does not require intervention and tends to moderate naturally as children accumulate social experience and confidence.
Anxiety is different. It involves persistent, disproportionate fear that interferes with daily functioning: refusing school, being unable to separate from a parent, avoiding activities that other children of the same age manage comfortably, or experiencing physical symptoms — stomach aches, headaches — in anticipation of ordinary situations.
The two can look similar from the outside, especially in a quiet child who hangs back at parties. The key distinction is interference: is the caution preventing the child from doing things that matter to them, or to their development? A shy child at a party may stand at the edge for the first twenty minutes and then join in. An anxious child may be unable to attend at all, or spend the whole time in distress.
If the pattern is consistent, pervasive, and increasing rather than decreasing, it is worth talking to a professional. The Anxiety in Children guide covers the research on childhood anxiety in full, including what is developmentally typical at different ages, how to tell the difference between normal worry and clinical anxiety, and what the evidence says about how parents can help.
"Am I doing this right?"
This one appears in different forms — "am I damaging my child," "is it too late to change," "does therapy work for kids this age" — but they are all the same question underneath.
The research has a reasonably consistent answer, and it is worth stating plainly. The things that matter most for children's long-term wellbeing are security of attachment, consistent emotional availability from caregivers, and an environment where children feel safe to fail and repair. None of those things require perfection. The research on repair — on what happens when parents lose their temper, make mistakes, and come back — suggests that it is not the rupture but the repair that shapes the relationship. A parent who is present, who tries, who comes back when it goes wrong, is doing the thing that matters.
If you are searching that question, you are almost certainly doing it right.
References
Coyne, S. M., Shawcroft, J., Gale, M., Gentile, D. A., Etherington, J. T., Holmgren, H., & Stockdale, L. (2021). Tantrums, toddlers and technology: Temperament, media emotion regulation, and problematic media use in early childhood. Computers in Human Behavior, 120, 106762.